You wouldn't wipe your behind with a piece of shit, would you?
You wouldn't brush your teeth with a dead TB infected badger either, would you?
So why are you still washing dishes in your filthy dishwasher, you base creatures?
Your dishwasher contains more disease than 12th century Europe. FACT!
A dirty dishwasher will probably explode while you sleep, killing you all in your beds. FACT!
New! Improved! Spanglox Dishwasher Detergent will not only make your glassware sparkle more than a thousand stars viewed by a migraine sufferer with compound eyes through a kaleidoscope full of diamonds, but every box purchased counts toward your reincarnation as a human being (or at least a high order of primate) no matter what heinous crimes you may have perpetrated in this life*.
But don't take our word for it...
"My cutlery shone so brightly that the glare transformed my husband into a Hiroshima Shadow. Thanks Spanglox!" Mrs. P Watson, Dover
"I now have to wear a welding mask when emptying my dishwasher. I'm so happy." Doug, Walmington-on-Sea
"I don't even need to eat any more. I just look at my super-clean plates for satisfaction and sustenance." Mrs R., Mexborough
"Spanglox products definitely do not make us die. At all." Millions of aquatic creatures
*Failure to maintain a regime of using our products may cause dandruff, molten lava kidney stones and depression in kittens worldwide.
I meant one of your Saturn days. Anyway, here's some filler above. I'm working my way toward animation and video. Scheduled for 2024 with a good wind behind me. 'Pologizing soon. I promise.
[My apologies to Terry Pratchett for the (mis)use of the Weatherwax sign. Don't sue me. Ah fuck it, you've probably forgotten by now anyway.]
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