Is it just me, or is there a disturbing parallel between Osama's comeback video and Britney's rebound on to the scene? They both look refreshed and determined, and yet they have both made poor choices for their reappearance on the world's stage. Perhaps Osama has been in rehab too - a consequence of his earlier smash successes - after being seen stumbling out of glitzy caves at 3 in the morning, coquettishly admitting to wearing no underwear during public appearances and shaving off his trademark ZZ Top beard in a desperate cry for help.
Whisked off to a top rehab cave on the Uzbek border by concerned aides, it is already rumoured that OBL is suing his parents for custody of Saudi Arabia, considering firing his manager and attempting to recover the rights for his back catalogue. Whispers circulating in the murdertainment industry that he was planniung to cover the IRA's greatest hit 'Manchester' have been downplayed by his management team.
An insider source reported: "...the talk of him using 'Just for Men' on his beard is baseless falsehood...his new dietician, Cyndi, has worked wonders using just wheatgrass shakes and organic goat's milk baths." The unnamed source also quashed rumours that OBL was trying to buy Idi Amin's skeleton, but confirmed that he had purchased Papa Doc Duvalier's loofah on Ebay, and it looked lovely above Pol Pot's fabled fondue set in the terrorist leader's swish new cave.
Oddly, one anagram of Osama Bin Laden is 'a blonde's mania' - so we're back to Britney again.
Saturday, September 8, 2007
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